Now Playing: Sister Act III

Chris M

Warner Brothers Studios Proudly Presents

"SISTER ACT III"

"Breaking the Habit"

Produced by Whoopi Goldberg

Directed by Rob Reiner

Written by Diablo Cody & James Somerton

Original Score by Danny Elfman

Original Songs performed by Amy Winehouse:

“The Devil made me Do it” “Black and Blue again (Yet I Don’t Remember)”

And the # 1 hit “Breaking the Habit”

Special Effects by the LORD OF THE RINGS team

Starring:

Whoopi Goldberg as Sister Mary Clarence

Maggie Smith as Mother Superior

Kathy Nijamy as Sister Mary Patrick

Rupaul as Mother Seton

Paul Newman as Daddy Warbucks

&

Introducing

Amy Winehouse as Geraldine

Tagline: “No booze! No sex! No drugs!... No No No!”

Synopsis: Geraldine (Winehouse) was a two bit lounge singer in Los Angeles. Her career was going nowhere and her life sucked. Things began to turn around when she met a hot new record producer named Daddy Warbucks (Newman) who offered to make her a star, all she had to do was sell her soul. Geraldine figuring that this was better than going back to prostitution jumped on it and willingly sold her soul to daddy Warbucks. As promised her career took off and her shows were the talk of the town, as one reviewer said it was as if she was possessed (which she was). Continuous erratic behavior led many to speculate that she was on drugs, mainly meth and crack. So it was off to rehab for her. But when she began to fly around the rehab singing, they knew it wasn’t drugs, coke only gets you 2 feet off the ground, not 8!!! Her family knew they needed a new intervention, Jesus.

Mother Superior (Smith) decided to take in Geraldine to help save her, mother superior has a habit of taking in strays. Geraldine was too much for Mother Superior to handle, so she had to call in a favor. Sister Mary Clarence (Goldberg) has flown in from Turkey where she was performing in a revival of Cats, she played Rumple Teaser. Sister Mary Clarence knew she was in for a battle but she has faced worse (Lauren Hill in Sister Act II). Sister Mary Clarence was very impressed with Geraldine’s voice, so decided to throw her into the choir where they could exercise her demons. She quickly became huge, and church attendance went up 110% . Mary Clarence becomes jealous of Geraldines new popularity and decides that only one can live – so they have an epic fight, and Sister Mary Clarence is killed; Geraldine is now the supreme Nun at the church, and she is beloved by all the other characters including bitchy nun Mother Seton (Rupaul) and obese lazy nun Mother Mary Patrick (Nijmay).

What the Press Would Say: Just when you think movies couldn’t get any worse, something like this comes out. Finding a plot in this film is like looking for an intellectual conversation in a room filled with The Hills stars. The movie from start to finish is one big mess; Whoopi has returned to form. Proving that she is one hit wonder, Diablo Cody wrote what has to be one of the worst scripts in recent memory, it was only briefly saved by special guest writer James Somerton epic battle at the end of the film. Rob Reiner hasn’t made anything relevant in nearly 20 years, so why start now. Whoopi Goldberg looks bored, she made this film for that reported $30 million paycheck, and it shows, like in the scene where she is clearly sleeping when Kathy Nijamy is talking to her – speaking of Nijamy it’s nice to see she’s not dead. Was it just me, or was it weird that Paul Newman and Maggie Smith agreed to be in this movie? Do they read the scripts anymore? Amy Winehouse gave a strong performance, they were smart to make her just sing, because that’s all she can really do. With a reported $200 million dollar budget, Sister Act III is being touted as one of the big summer movies of 2008. This films best shot at Awards recognition is for Winehouse’s catchy R&B infused pop ballads which are racing up the charts. It has the ingredients to be a hit, its unoriginal, it has special effects, and it’s filled with hit music, all from Winehouse.

Rotten Tomatoes: 22%
Meta Critic: 20%
Ebert: Thumbs Down
Rolling Stone: *
EW Magazine: A -